Meat me

I've done exceptionally well on the diet front. 4kg's! one week. Sjo. Well I still want meat. It's the only drawback so far. Other than that, I'm not hungry. I'm not wanting anything else.

I have a minor other issue. I really want a new job. Really really badly in the Stock market! That is my home. I miss it. The excitement. The stress. The relieve. The reward. They are another type of human. My type of human. Some people don't like them at all. I say, I hate all humans, and was it not for the single minded trader mind I would have killed most humans. It is truly amazing if you fully comprehend it. I speak of them as if they are super humans. They are. If you look at what they do... Not everyone can use their full comprehension like that. I can't. I haven't even tried. I don't dare. I miss that.

I sound a little crazy. But there is no greater thrill that waiting to see if a position was a good one, even though somewhere the odds were not entirely in your favour! Yes there is sadness. There is loss too... but that is soon forgotten with each victory. I miss that.

Aaah. I am still indecisive about what to study next. Not that there is finances for this activity. It is between Economy and Law. Yes. I'm a numbers person. If I could I would do something like actuary. But, no university would allow me into that with my Matric. That is why kids, never listen to you parents. Your matric does not make you... YOU make your matric. And it starts off in Std 6 (Grade 8).  This makes me think of point B.

I had the weirdest dream last night. It was a mix of 'funky royal wedding' and 'high school glamour/prom' party. I dreamed I was invited as 'special' guest of the Bride and Groom of the royal family. I was dressed like a dream... And it was no ordinary dress. It fit perfectly. It was deep royal blue, and in a similar style to this one. I looked so sexy in it. Everyone wanted to be with me at the party, which was on this roof of this skyscraper. I had the perfect shoes. It was WoW! Freaky as hell. If this is what 4 kgs can do to my ego... just imagine what will happen when I lost all 22kgs!

Ah to be young again.

Headaches and Hurt.

Friday started the 'detox' section of the diet. It's been hell. First off started the rumble in the tummy. Then the head aches started. All this can be cured with something as simple as water! Yes. I have been drinking 3 litres a day! I am now tired of water. Officially. And I miss MEAT. I just so badly want a piece of solid super steak. The hardest part is not having anything to chew. I've tried ice. I've tried just eating the porridge, but being the carnivore I am, I WANT MEAT. I'm intending to write a letter to them for a beef flavour, and a chicken flavour without egg. Maybe a bacon or smoked porridge?


Further more the WOW is going good. Still enjoying. Stargate marathon still on.

Once a Prawn a time...

My love treated me to a seafood platter on Sunday afternoon, as it was my "sin" weekend. I started yesterday with the Cambridge program. I don't like calling it the whole name, and my reasons are slightly personal at this stage.

We were enjoying a prawn or 10 on Sunday, and talking about the whole idea of people and their perspectives, and opinions. Now some of you know, I sometimes have a real difficult time keeping my opinions to myself. I've gotten myself, and my love into serious trouble with some people. Personally I think if you make yourself out to be a friend, you should be able to take a friends opinion for what it is worth.

So we were discussing perspectives. Firstly I noted that there is a SERIOUS problem with some peoples child rearing skills, especially the table outside. I told my love that I have been re-evaluating my life.  Thinking how to better myself. First of, gaining confidence and losing 15kg's, secondly, New job.  If the order of that changes it won't matter, the main ingredients stay the same.

Returning to my perspectives and opinions. I've gone on rediscovery of me. Of what I want, and how I will get it. Doing this makes one sometimes hate yourself. It is a necessary task. In doing this my way of thinking has slightly changed, and my perspective is a more 'external' one than usual. I love to observe people. And in doing so I learn allot about myself as a human being and the humans themselves. I've decided to make little mental notes on how I would have perceived and how I should perceive. Now this is not an easy task in all situations. You get upset and you tend to think with your 'primitive instinct' brain, instead of rational and logic response. And if you are me, you tend to become slower during this process. :P 

Today is a difficult day, day 2 of the diet. It is going as expected, but for the hunger. And this too shall pass. Here is to eating a prawn real soon again.