Ridiculed with this particular feeling, again.

It's strange to say that I'm ridiculed by this particular feeling. It's not really annoyance, but more like confused aggression. I feel so angry but confused as to why. It starts in the morning. Keeps strong during mid day, and usually transpires to either a major incident of word warring, or the waterfall of green-blue eye country. It's day 3-4 of this heat wave, and I can tell you I've had about enough. If it does not cool down tonight, I'm buying a personal aircon. This is frekked up.

Got my hair done yesterday. Truly amazing how some people just cannot take direction. I'm not complaining. The colour is 1/10th away from what it should be. But then again I could also blame genetics. (See what I mean, I'm mean and aggressive and have nothing good to say or think about everyone and everything if I'm in this mood. I'll refrain from any further 'bad mouthing' if possible.)

Now tomorrow is the day of party, but I haven't been a fan of my birthday since a couple years back. It's got nothing to do with getting older, there are just some emotional tinting on some of them that makes the day a 'sorry I was born' day, instead of a 'happy to be alive' day. I particularly blame the lack of gifts and sincerity of the friends and family. (This last sentence was dialled down.) For one I've been meaning to take a day off. Go shopping and what not. But have I been able too? No. All I hear is "there is too much to do". This makes me even more sad or angry.

I just don't want to be here any more. Please save me.

Oh mother of hell.

Today is one of those days where I just want to kill myself for being on this planet of annoying lazy asses, who always seem to find a way to make their issues and their MEANINGLESS empty brains your problem. In general I don't like people. It is a huge annoyance for me being one. I'd much rather fancy myself to be like Sherlock Holmes from BBC One. Being Immune to people and they little annoyances would help too.

On a different note, I share my birthday with a few rather special people. Joaquin Phoenix, Julia Roberts. AND and the Statue of Liberty! Wow.

Back to point A. I am annoyed, not only with the super duper humans, but this weather. I hate HEAT. I don't call myself European for nothing! Anything above 25 degrees Celsius makes me want to KILL. I am sweaty and sticky and just plain "pissig". I wish that it would RAIN, hard, RIGHT NOW.

Now currently I'm working on a long term plan to go on holiday/s. I have a need to be at the sea side. Not in the sea, just on or near the sea, oh how glorious it would be. I've got a few ideas on where I want to go. Mostly it's along the Wild coast. But the puppy is being a hard ass as per usual. He's having a hard time at the work and can complain about it for hours, and as it is my duty as loving partner to listen to him, I do so, but that is where it ends. Which leads me to the second big annoyance of the day.

I allow him to do and act and basically go nuts as he pleases. And for the most part of it I get my freedom too. For the past 2 Years though I've noticed that he has started to think he's the HEAD Puppy. Like he's the leader of the pack, and he will decide how, what, with what and when we will be doing anything. This is ticking me off something frakking huge. I have given up my dream dreaming ability because of this! I realised somewhere in last week that for the biggest part of what I can remember I used to be able to wish for something, plan it, and do it. Now if I make a wish, and discuss it, it gets shot down! Now there is two options. Kill him or make him wish he never started this war. Option two has been in effect from 3 months ago. Now please don't misunderstand me. I love him DEEPLY and I will marry him one day. But it's one day, and love is the only thing keeping him alive most of the time.

Did you know that SARS and UNISA are evil? Oh yes. True EVIL.

Well peepers and peepets. Keep well.