Thursday, October 27, 2011

Ridiculed with this particular feeling, again.

It's strange to say that I'm ridiculed by this particular feeling. It's not really annoyance, but more like confused aggression. I feel so angry but confused as to why. It starts in the morning. Keeps strong during mid day, and usually transpires to either a major incident of word warring, or the waterfall of green-blue eye country. It's day 3-4 of this heat wave, and I can tell you I've had about enough. If it does not cool down tonight, I'm buying a personal aircon. This is frekked up.

Got my hair done yesterday. Truly amazing how some people just cannot take direction. I'm not complaining. The colour is 1/10th away from what it should be. But then again I could also blame genetics. (See what I mean, I'm mean and aggressive and have nothing good to say or think about everyone and everything if I'm in this mood. I'll refrain from any further 'bad mouthing' if possible.)

Now tomorrow is the day of party, but I haven't been a fan of my birthday since a couple years back. It's got nothing to do with getting older, there are just some emotional tinting on some of them that makes the day a 'sorry I was born' day, instead of a 'happy to be alive' day. I particularly blame the lack of gifts and sincerity of the friends and family. (This last sentence was dialled down.) For one I've been meaning to take a day off. Go shopping and what not. But have I been able too? No. All I hear is "there is too much to do". This makes me even more sad or angry.

I just don't want to be here any more. Please save me.

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